Meadows Elementary

Teaching Independence
and Self-Reliance

Upon giving birth, our children are completely dependent upon us for their every need. As our children grow, we often vacillate between pushing our children towards independence, and holding them close, protecting them from difficult situations, disappointments, or rejection. For example, parents often struggle with allowing their children to suffer the consequence they might have for a late assignment or a bad grade. The temptation is to do whatever we need to do so our child doesn't have to deal with the negative consequences. Other times, it's just easier to do the task or activity ourselves because we don't have the time, energy, or patience to teach or guide our child through the process. Unfortunately, the more that we do for our children, the more we are actually robbing them of vital learning experiences that would prepare them for the real world. Children need the opportunity to practice new skills, make decisions, and experience the consequences of their decisions.

Ways To Foster Independence

1. When teaching your children a new skill, demonstrate how to do each of the steps. Then decrease the number of steps you do, and increase the number of steps they do.
2. With decision-making, provide opportunities for your children to make decisions. Start with small decisions without large consequences. Encourage them to think through their choices. Allow them to experience the consequence of a bad choice. As their decision-making skills improve, allow them to make bigger decisions.
3. Teachers strive to teach children to be independent, responsible learners. Encourage your children to do as much of their homework as possible on their own. Help only as needed, teaching the necessary skill, and then shifting the responsibility back to your children.

The more opportunities children have to do things for themselves, the more they become aware of their abilities and the greater their self-confidence will be. What we do now to help our children develop independence will help them succeed throughout their lifetime.

School Counseling Program Links

Discipline With Love & Logic Series
Bully/Teasing Prevention Program
Bully-Proof Your Child
Study Skills Unit
Home and School Achieve
Homework ABC's
Homework Tips
New Year's Resolutions
Parenting Pearls
How to Help Kids Cope with Disaster
Helping your Child with the First Day of Kindergarten
Dealing with Your Child's Anxiety
Talking with Your Child about Death
How to Help Your Kids Cope With Natural Disasters